You always hurt those you love
by TattooShadow
Summary: A short oneshot. The title says it all. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**I was in a very emotional mood and decided to write this. As of right now it is just a one-shot, but maybe that will change in the future. **

**You Always Hurt Those You Love**

Being alone had never been an easy task, despite what some people may believe. It was all just a front for those around him. It was a way to protect himself from the pain that he endured every night and every day. He pushed everyone away. He hated the world.

When Severus Snape had been younger, he was eager to please and open to emotion, but as the years went on and the abuse got worse, he became more and more standoffish. He became cold to all those around him. Neglect is one of the worst things that a parent could do to a child. Emotion abuse was another. Had he been loved while growing up, perhaps things would have turned out different.

He stood by and watched her crying. He hadn't bothered apologizing or making a move to comfort her as she wept on their bed. He'd been cruel to her before they became involved and he was cruel to her now. Nothing seemed to warm his heart. Not even the anguished cries of his lover. He scowled and walked away, thoroughly ignoring her.

She looked up where he had been standing and felt fresh hot tears stream down her face. What did she have to do to prove that she loved him? How many times did she have to tell him how much she cared? How many dinners would she have to cook? How much house cleaning would she have to do? How many more things would she need to buy for him? All she had ever asked for in return was his love. She didn't care for diamond rings or fancy clothes. She didn't want his fortune, his house, credit for his work; all she wanted was his love. Unfortunately, it seemed to be too much to ask.

So she waits. Hoping. It was sad actually. Most people get that breathless, happy feeling when they see the person they love, but she got that feeling whenever she hoped she would actually get an apology. Time passed and nothing came of her waiting. Her head hurt, her eyes burned, and her heart ached. He hadn't returned yet. She knew her heart could only take so much. It was a battle she thought she could win, but it turned out that it was a war she stood alone in. There was no hope.

He had never been loved as a child. He had never been accepted with open arms. He had never been the center of _anyone's_ attention. Years of torment, betrayal, and pain had turned him into the cold, empty shell of a man that he was. She slowly got off the bed and with a few flicks of her wand, her things were packed and flooed to a place far from Hogwarts. She wrote on a piece of parchment as tears flowed down her face.

He didn't want her. He couldn't. You don't treat someone that you love like they are nothing more than the dirt on your boot. You don't push them away from you. You don't make them cry and then walk away after you've placed the blame on the person you've hurt.

She took one last look at the now gloomy room before lowering her head and going to the fire place. Memories of the few times he actually smiled flashed before as the green flames engulfed her. That's all they were. Memories.

Severus Snape walked into the room ready to speak with her only to find the room to be empty. It took a moment for him to register that her things were gone. Realization hit him and all he could do was stare at the uninviting room. He didn't understand why his stomach clenched painfully, or why his chest ached. He couldn't fathom why he suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Slowly, he looked over the room before his eyes rested on the mattress where she had sat. He hesitantly reached out a trembling hand and picked up the parchment.

_My dearest Severus, _

_I have tried to show you that I love you. I have tried to prove to you that my feelings are genuine. I tried to tell you, but you would not listen. You don't give me the chance to speak about how I feel. You get angry when I cry. Most of the time, you are the one who makes me cry and yet, I am the one at fault. You never want to talk. You say that it is pointless to spend quality time together alone because we see each other at work everyday. Did anything matter to you? Did I matter to you? I have done nothing but try my best to meet your standards and my best wasn't good enough. I love you so much and this hurts me more than it will ever hurt you. I guess my Gryffindor courage has failed me at last because I am not brave enough to endure a lifetime of loneliness and heartache. Forgive me for being a coward. _

_I love you_

_Now and Forever_

_H.G. _

Severus reread the letter at least five times before his world came crashing down around him. He fell to his knees; clutching the parchment. He clenched his jaw, trying to make himself angry so he wouldn't cry, but it didn't work. She was right. He had hurt her and not thought twice about it. He knew now that you can't push away the one you love and expect them to stay. His emotional barrier crumbled as he realized that he had lost the one person in life he really did love.

"_Hermione…" _


	2. Chapter 2

-1**You Always Hurt Those You Love**

It had been almost two years since Hermione Granger walked out of Severus Snape's life. For almost two years, Severus sulked and blamed everyone but himself. Now he was sitting in his office, pondering what had happened between them. She had always been there for him, she had always supported him, she had never imposed on him or his time. She had in fact been the perfect woman and he had been so used to cruelty, that he pushed her away and treated her the same as everyone else when he shouldn't have. There had never been any love in his life. His parents hated each other and in turn hated him; they made sure that he knew that. He didn't have many friends at school, despite many peoples belief that he and Lucius were friends. They were not. Lucius had always threatened Severus in order to get his way. Albus was about the only person that Severus could say he was friends with and in the time of war, he had killed him on Dumbledore's own orders. Hermione had been the only that seemed to truly care for him and he shoved that all away because he didn't want to look like a love-sick fool in front of the people that he tried to terrorize. Now he was asking himself if the cruel, cold public image he had tried so hard to keep intact was really worth losing the one person he actually loved. The answer he finally came to the conclusion of was '_no'_.

Setting his jaw, he stood and grabbed his cloak and left the dungeons, nearly running to the Apparation point just outside the gates of Hogwarts. He knew where she was. He had found out when he heard Potter talking to Weasely about her whereabouts about three months ago. He knew that she might turn him away if he went to her, but he had to try. He loved her.

When he found himself in front of a small white house with a fenced in yard, he felt his heart slamming against his ribcage. It was now or never. He strolled up to the front door and after taking a deep breath, he knocked and waited. He stood impatiently, looking around nervously before turning to face the door as he heard the turn of the doorknob.

Hermione froze and stared at the man dressed in his customary black; his eyes resting intently on her. She didn't know what to say. Why was he there? It had been almost two painful years and he hadn't even bothered writing to her so why was he there at her door now?

"Um….what…what are you doing here?" She asked uncertainly, chewing her bottom lip.

"I need to speak with you. Are you going to invite me in or am I to plead my case out here in the cold?" He sneered. Hermione narrowed her eyes and ground her teeth. He was still the same insufferable man. She made way for him to enter her home and he did; his cloak sweeping at her bare ankles.

"Would you like some tea?" She asked.

"No."

"Would you like coffee?" She tried again, frowning.

"No."

"Ok….would you like anything then?"

"Yes."

"Um….ok." There was silence and the two just looked at each other. It was beginning to frighten Hermione.

"Ok….what did you want?" She asked uncertainly.

"You." She stared at him, her eyes wide and her heart beating so fast she thought it might burst through her chest.

"Wh….what?" She stammered and backed away a few steps, but he matched her every step.

"I said I want you, Hermione." He stated clearly.

"But….but you haven't even bothered….to talk to me since I left….you…." She stammered uncertainly as she backed away into the wall only to have Severus follow. She then glared up at him.

"What are you playing at?!" She snapped. He cocked his head and raised on brow. He always thought she was so enticing when she had that angry flush on her face.

"Nothing. I am not here to play games or tricks. I want you back and I am not leaving until I have you." He told her.

"What? You think you can walk back into my life after two years and just expect me to go back with you?" She asked incredulously.

"No. I came here to tell you that I made a mistake. There were things I left unsaid." He said as he placed his hands on either side of her shoulders against the wall, thoroughly trapping her.

"Wh….what things?" She asked nervously, but her heart was pounding with anticipation.

"I never told you how much I appreciate you. I never told you how much I care about you. I never told you how brilliant or how beautiful you are. I pushed you away when I shouldn't have. I have never been loved. I have never been happy. I didn't know how to act around you or with you. I didn't realize just how miserable my life could be until you walked out of it. I never told you that I love you, so I am telling you now." He said softly, his eyes betraying their desperation.

Hermione hadn't realized that tears had fallen down her cheeks as she stared breathlessly up at the man she loved and never forgot. Her life had been so empty without him and now here he was, professing his love for her like he never had. How could she not forgive him?

"I…..I…don't know what to say.." She choked softly.

"Say that you'll give me another chance. Let me show how much I love you. Let me make up for the time we lost. I was ignorant to think that you would stay when I treated you like everyone else. I realize now that you were the one person I should never have been cruel to. Please Hermione…….I can't live without you." He pleaded, his eyes glazed over.

"I love you Severus." She whispered and that was all he needed to hear. He pulled her against him, giving her a searing kiss as he embraced her tightly. He felt her body go limp in his arms and tightened his embrace to hold her upright as he passionately ravaged her mouth. Her arms reached around him and she held him tightly, never wanting to let him go.

"I love you so much." He murmured against her lips.

"I've missed you so much." She returned.

"Not as much as I have missed you." He told her and immediately picked her up and carried her to her bedroom.

It would be only another month before Severus proposed marriage. It was only two months after their wedding that she conceived and they would be expecting their first child. Severus kept good to his word. He finally showed her how much she meant to him. They say you never love what you've got until it's gone and he knew all too well what it was like when she was gone and he didn't want to go through that again. He was lucky enough to get her back and he was going to make sure that he did everything he could to keep it that way.

As Severus sat there in the hospital holding his son in his arms, he felt a tear stream down his face. He looked upon the innocent little face; small wisps of black hair stuck out of the little blue blanket he was wrapped in. He had a family now. He had a loving wife. He had a beautiful son. He looked at his wife who was watching him, smiling despite her exhaustion. He knew that she could see the look of wonder in his eyes as he looked at his own son. She could see the love and admiration for them both.

"I love you." Severus told her softly.

"I love you too." She whispered, resting her head against the pillows. Severus looked down at his son again and smiled genuinely. Now, finally after a life time of hatred, cruelty, and persecution, he knew what happiness was like. He now knew why so many people liked the idea of love. He was truly where he wanted to be. He was happy.


End file.
